It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Nancy was sitting in the window seat of her living room looking out the window. She could see groups of children riding their bikes, families pushing strollers and walking their dogs. There were old couples walking holding hands and teenagers kissing. It seemed that everyone else in the world had someone—except Nancy. Her loneliness burned in her chest and brought her to tears.
Most of us have had the experience of feeling lonely. We may have just gone through a breakup or moved to a new city. Humans are social creatures and when we find ourselves alone, we often experience intense sadness and loneliness.
But, being alone doesn’t have to equate to feeling lonely. Here are four strategies for dealing with loneliness.
1. Understand that it’s okay to feel lonely.
The more you start to resist your lonely feelings, the stronger they get. Don’t get yourself, thinking, “What is wrong with me?” If you do, you’ll find that you focus more and more on the lonely feelings and the feelings will grow! What we resist, persists. Where attention goes, grows. Instead, honor your feelings. Tell yourself, “This is only temporary. It’s a natural feeling because I’ve just had a major transition.” Be gentle with yourself.
2. Do things that bring you pleasure.
Often when we start feeling lonely we tend to isolate ourselves. That only makes the problem worse! Instead, go out and do what you like to do. Do you enjoy movies? Catch a matinee. Do you love Indian food? Take yourself out to dinner. Buy one ticket to a concert or football game. Browse bookstores, go to the beach, visit museums. What you’ll find is that if you focus on doing the things that make you happy, you won’t care that you’re alone. You’ll be able to shift from loneliness to solitude.
3. Try something new.
This is the perfect time to try something that you’ve always wanted to do but were too self-conscious to try. Take a class and learn to salsa dance. Who cares if you’re uncoordinated, it’s not like you know anyone in the class! By engaging in activities that you’ve always wanted to explore, you’re developing confidence and growing new aspects to your personality. This will allow you to attract new and different people into your life..
4. Be proud of yourself for willing to be alone.
Have you ever noticed how many people are willing to stay in a bad relationship rather than be alone? Be proud of yourself that you aren’t like that. Don’t be tempted to hang around people you don’t like just so that you won’t have to be alone. Remember, water rises to its own level and like attracts like. By ending relationships with people who aren’t good for you and being willing to be alone, you’re opening yourself up for better relationships. Be proud that you are strong enough to deal with a little loneliness.
Nancy decided that enough was enough and she put on her walking shoes , grabbed her camera, and went outside. She spent the next two hours capturing photographs of the people she’d been watching from inside the window. Nancy always loved photography, and by the end of the two hours, her mood had lifted and she felt a sense of peace in her solitude.
How do you handle feelings of loneliness??
Please let me know your thoughts below!
About Traci Shoblom
Traci Shoblom Vujicich has been a freelance writer since 2000. She's worked with leaders and celebrities in almost every field, including Ken Blanchard, Brian Tracy, Marshall Goldsmith, David Bach and T. Harv Eker. She's also written four books and is working on another. Check her out at TheRightWriter.com
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